For National Infertility Awareness Week I decided I would participate in Resolve's "Bust an Infertilty Myth" blog challenge.
The myth I have chosen to write about is well known and I am sure many of you have heard it. It is: "Just adopt and then you'll get pregnant".
Many people who knew my husband and I were hoping to adopt a child would tell me, "You know, once you adopt, you will get pregnant." And then after we adopted our child, invariably some people just had to tell us about some random person they knew who had adopted a child and was now pregnant.
When people say this is I really don't think they are thinking about what they are saying. Do they really think I adopted my child in hopes that once I did so I would become pregnant and have a biological child?
Adoption is not a means to becoming pregnant. In fact only 5% of couples who adopt later become pregnant. It is a very insensitive thing to say to someone who has adopted a child. And when I am told this, I cringe, take a deep breath and try to explain in the nicest way possible that this is simply not true and I that I don't appreciate hearing this statement. I cannot imagine our family without our little guy who came through us through the miracle and blessing of adoption. I would hate for him to think that we adopted him only in hopes that by doing so I would then become pregnant and have a biological child. Love, not blood, is what binds my family together.
thanks for posting this, jana. i agree with it all...so beautifully said!
ReplyDeleteWell said. I'm so glad you try (nicely!) to straighten people out on this one. And WHY do people always have to throw "just" in front of "adopt", as if adopting were sooo easy?
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