Wednesday, November 30, 2011

No pregnancy horror story here

Today I was at the park with several other moms and their kids.  And as often happens, the conversation eventually led to everyone sharing their pregnancy horror stories and why they weren't quite ready to have more kids.  I obviously didn’t have much to add to the conversation as I have not been pregnant and am not anticipating a pregnancy.  And El Guapo runs around quite a bit at the park, while the other moms have girls who are a little calmer.  And this park has a duck pond where El Guapo loves trying to catch the ducks and run into the pond after them, so I wasn’t able to really stand around and chat.  El Guapo and I eventually made our way back to the swings and as I pushed him and another little girl in the swings I could imagine how it would be to have two kids.  So with a smile, I told the group, “Well, I’m ready for two kids”.  I also told them it sounded like I got the better end of the deal and that I hadn’t missed out on anything by not being pregnant. 

It is funny, because while in the thick of infertility treatments, when I would see a pregnant lady I used to think I was really missing out.  But I don’t think that at all anymore.  I can’t even really imagine being pregnant, it just isn’t part of my life story, and that’s just fine with me.  When the topic turns to pregnancy woes I often think of El Guapo’s birth mother and how much I admire and love her for all that she went through to bring El Guapo into the world. 

I also wonder about the future and what it holds for our family.  I wonder what our second child’s birth mother’s pregnancy and birth story will be.  And I can only hope that pregnancy and child birth will treat her more kindly than it did to the moms who were swapping stories at the park today.  

I was also reminded of this quote "Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own.  Never forget, not for a minute, You weren’t born under my heart--but in it."
Fleur Conkling Heyliger

While my children are not "born under my heart", they are definitely "born in it".  And that my friends, is one of the beautiful things about adoption.  No pregnancy horror story, just all the love and happiness that comes with arrival of a new member of the family  :D


  1. beautiful post, I'm going to share this with my bff... She's in the final stages of the foster to adopt situation, and I know she still kind of struggles with the pregnancy thing. (sometimes)

    Well said!!

  2. It's clear those ladies in the park are not IFers.

  3. That must be so interesting to notice the change in how you feel about pregnancy: from something you just wanted so much, to something "that is not part of your life story". It's amazing how life changes us and our perceptions of things. Thank you for sharing this post. I often wonder about how different I will feel about a variety of things after I have had a child, and your posts help me imagine how it might feel.
    I'm so curious about how and when your second child will arrive. I'm very excited for you, Jana.
    sending warm hugs, my friend.

  4. Lovely post, amazing quote, thanks for sharing!

  5. Love, love, love that quote & how true it is! So excited for your family as you await the next member to join you all!