I want to experience the joy that each day can bring to my life. For the past few years my husband and I, have been dealing with infertility. That can bring some serious ups and downs with it. Unfortunately, after all the medications, hormones, blood draws, and stirrups (I should be made an honorary cowgirl by now) we are still without child.
A few months ago, after the latest setback I realized that I needed to figure out how to be happy. When you go through infertility it constantly feels like your life is on hold. Waiting for the next procedure, waiting to see if it works, waiting to do it again. And because your body is put through quite an ordeal you have to put things on hold. You can't exercise, you constantly think in terms of...9 months from now, could I plan on doing this, or will I be pregnant, etc.
Anyhow, so with the latest setback I decided I was really going to enjoy life and put all this infertility nonsense behind me. I could no longer depend on having a child to usher happiness into my life. Now, don't get me wrong, I am generally a happy person, but I have found that when I do certain things in my life on a daily basis, it is easier to find the joy in life.
Through the medium of this blog I plan on posting quotes, scriptures, experiences, and photos that help me find joy in the moment of now.
You have no idea how much this post means to me; its as if you read my mind. But every time I try to explain it to my close friends and family (none of them IF), they don't understand. It seems like everything in the future I consider with the "well, what if we're pregnant?" or "what if we're nearing another IVF cycle?" I feel hesitant to make vacation plans or education plans, and even something simple like running a 10k race is a mental debate. "What if I'm pregnant and shouldn't be running?" Its ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteGod has really shown me lately that is not how He intends for me to live my life. He came so we could have life and have it to the FULL!
Thank you for reassuring me that I'm not the only one trying to plan my life around our infertility. :)