Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Pregnancy Announcements

There are many ways that a pregnancy can be announced.  And maybe the problem is that the emphasis has been on the word ANNOUNCEMENT.

Can you picture the megaphone shouting to anyone and everyone that another pregnant person has arrived?  And I don't think newly pregnant people are to be faulted for being excited about their pregnancy, but when you're infertile, everyone besides you is running around getting pregnant.  And these announcements can be so difficult to receive.

I used to imagine how I would ANNOUNCE my pregnancy, but now that I am not anticipating a pregnancy to occur in this century, sometimes one person's happiness over a pregnancy announcement can bring pain and sadness to my heart.  You want to be happy for the person, but sometimes it is so hard.

This weekend I really appreciated how one of my dear friends told me about her pregnancy.  We were just chatting and catching up b/c we hadn't talked in awhile.  And she moved across town, so I hadn't seen her in awhile and we were plotting how we would meet up again.  And then, I don't remember exactly how she worded her "pregnancy announcement", but I remember feeling of her compassion and love for me and my situation.  She told me she realized this was a difficult topic for me and she was unsure of how to tell me, but she was pregnant again.

Her acknowledgment of how painful it could be for me to hear a pregnancy announcement was so kind.  And that acknowledgment made it so I could internally say "yes", but this is not about me, and I want to be happy for you and not sad for me.  I felt nothing but love and joy for her.  I am excited for her and was happy that I could be heartfelt and genuine in my congratulations for her.


  1. How sweet of your friend to be so thoughtful of you. It is so hard to hear those announcements.

    As a friend of mine once told me, I'm happy for them, but sad for me.

    Sending you hugs!

  2. What a great friend! So many people don't seem to realize how difficult IF really is, and how painful it is to hear pregnancy announcement after pregnancy announcement.

  3. That sounds like a really great friend in the first announcement. Hang on to her!

  4. awesome! your friend was awesome! no matter what we're dealing with, we should always consider others' feelings... wouldn't it be the same 'announcing' a new job to someone who's been struggling to get a job? good for her ... and for your compassionate friendship!

  5. It's interesting what a difference the approach makes. A little sensitivity goes a long, long way. Glad you have such a good friend.