"He could be your son"

"Well that's good, because he is."

The more I have thought about this recent conversation I had with an acquaintance of mine, the more I have mixed emotions about it.

I feel bad about it.  I also feel a little frustrated and tired of the "he looks just like you" comment.  And I just wish this innocent conversation and comment had gone better.

El Guapo was in his stroller, and when Jen* (not her real name, there are a million zillion Jen's out there, so  I figured that was a good name to use) came up to say hello.  And don't get me wrong, this is a really nice person, and I don't want her to feel bad if she ever somehow came across this post.  Anyhow, so she said hi to El Guapo and asked how he was doing.  I told her that he was almost walking, and we were doing good.  Then she said, "I can't believe how much he looks like you, he could be your son."

Side note--for some reason, I have never really understood this comment.  And I get it a lot.  Because, yes, El Guapo and I do have the similar skin color, and we both have dark eyes and dark hair.  But that's where our similarities stop.  And that is perfectly fine with me.  I don't know when people say this if they are trying to make me feel better about adoption--to which I feel perfectly fine and great about adoption and having a child that looks different than me.  Or is this just one of the first thing that pops into people's head when they don't know how to respond to the fact that you have a child who happens to be adopted.  I don't know.

I always just say, yeah, he does look a little like me, but not so much like his dad.  (my hubby is pretty fair skinned).   And then I usually say, that he actually looks a lot like his birth parents--which he does.  I really don't think he looks at all like me.  And why would he?

Anyhow.  After Jen told me that El Guapo could be mine son, I replied as stated above, that, actually, he was my son.  I didn't mean anything by it, and I think it was just a knee jerk reaction and that I responded that way b/c she said he could be my son.  She felt really bad, and started apologizing profusely and saying, "Of course he's your son", and "I am so sorry".   I told her not to worry about it, and that I didn't mean to make her feel bad.  And I meant it.  I told her the same stuff about how he doesn't look like my hubby and that I was just joking (b/c I was actually joking and laughing when I told her that it was good he could be my son, b/c he was my son).

This is quite a long ramble.  But I just felt like writing about it.  I will just leave the conversation where it is and hopefully when I run into Jen again, she won't feel awkward--but I think she might.  "sigh"

Here we go again...

We are in the process of completing our application to begin another adoption.  It mostly exciting, but it also makes me a little nervous and overwhelmed.  Nervous because there are so many other people hoping to adopt, and as I let that nervousness overwhelm me I can't help but wonder, how in the world will we be chosen again?  But at the same time I am hopeful and excited because I know it can happen.  Our little boy fit into our family just perfectly, so I have confidence that when the time is right, the right baby will be placed with us.

So now, I better get work on our application.  Thankfully we don't have to fill out as much paperwork as before, but it is still a process.  I will let you know when our application goes live.  It is probably still a few weeks out because we need to have another home visit, get reference letters sent in, and do a few other things.  But it is exciting that things are moving in the right direction.

Getting close

El Guapo is almost 1 year old.  I am excited to celebrate this special day with him.  This year has flown by and has been so fun.  It is amazing how much a little baby changes and grows in one year.  El Guapo has such a fun personality and is a joy to be around.  He makes friends where ever we go, and gives the best hugs and smiles.

I am not a very good party planner, so I am a little nervous about that.  I think we will just do something ultra small w/ a few friends and family.  We also have a small house so it doesn't lend itself to big groups and lots of kids.  But I think having a small get together is more my speed anyway.

I really want to make a cute cake, I have been looking on the internet for ideas, and have seen some cute ones.  Here is a link to one site that has some fun ones.  http://www.parenting.com/node/122102  Of course, I like the monkey one.   But I also like the football and dump truck ones.  I just want to make them all  :)  Good thing, there will be many more birthdays to come.  


And now some pictures for your viewing pleasure.

Where Oh Where Have I Been?

I have been here and there.  I have been busy with my little sidekick, and then I went on a fabulous vacation to Alaska  :D

I seem to have lost my blogging mo jo.  I don't quite know what I feel like writing about.  I look at your blogs, and comment occasionally, but for the most part, I have taken a sabbatical.

I am so happy for those of you that have success in your efforts of having children, and my heart aches for those of you who continue to experience setbacks and loss.

Pregnant ladies at the pool playdate

* I will also refer to "my little guy" as "El Guapo"  (Handsome)

Last week I took El Guapo to the pool for a little playdate with some other families that go to our church.  A lot of people are out of town because it is so hot here, so only 3 other ladies were there with their kids.  It just so happened that all of them are very pregnant. 

Well, one of the ladies had just moved into the area, so we were talking and getting to know one another.  She asked about El Guapo, including how old he was, and when his birthday would be.  I told her it was in the fall.  She then told me that she was due with her 2nd baby in the fall.  She proceeded to tell me, how she was already so hot and didn't know how she would make it through this hot summer being pregnant.  Then, the best part was, she said, "but you know how that is, if your baby was born in the fall."  

Ha ha ha.  I just laughed and said, "Actually, I don't"  :)  And I told her that my husband and I had adopted El Guapo.  

It was pretty funny.  I got a good laugh over it.  

We then talked a little about the adoption, and enjoyed the rest of our pool time.  

Strange, but true

Yesterday I went shopping--alone.

My little sidekick was at home hanging with his grandma while I was kicked out of the house.  It was very strange to be out on my own.  I just wandered around the stores taking my time.  It felt really weird.  I was reminded of how I used to feel before my little guy came along.  I was really bored.  Maybe another time I will love the free time.  Maybe because I didn't really have any errands I needed to get done and I was really just wasting time waiting until I could go back home that I felt the way I did.  Because I have left my little guy with others in the past and haven't felt the way I did yesterday. Though, I will admit, it did make it a bit easier to shop.  :)

Oh, and I think my little guy is finally finished with his bout of barfing and diarrhea.  Hallelujah.  This was one first (first sickness), that I didn't enjoy.  I have done way too much laundry for my liking this week.  And I have missed going to the pool during this heatwave we have been having.  But, I definitely didn't want to be the one with the kid who made the water murky, so we have steered clear of the pool this last week.

Sick :(

My little guy has been sick the last few days.  It is so sad.  Yesterday I decided to run a few errands, and less than 10 min after entering my first store, I looked down, and my little guy had barfed all over himself and his carseat/stroller.  Since then he has barfed a few more times and had a lot of diarrhea.  I happened to have a well child checkup visit scheduled for him today so that worked out well.

He barfed while at the doctor's office right before I had put him back in his newly cleaned carseat.  Thank goodness he didn't barf in it, it was difficult to take apart, clean, and then the hardest part was remembering how to put it all back together again.

My little guy has been a trooper though.  He is hanging in there, and hopefully will get some sleep tonight and feel better soon.