This weekend I read a book that had tips about how to bond with your baby, how to help calm him, how to help him sleep, etc...
It seemed like a pretty good book until I got to the "special circumstances" section about fostering and adopting kids. It was a very short section. And unfortunately, this short section contained some advice for adoptive parents. In essence it was: You may get pregnant after adopting. We don't know why it happens, but people that adopt often get pregnant afterwards.
Come on lady, give me a break. I thought you were some scholar or renowned baby expert. What were you thinking when you put this paragraph in here?
Needless to say, the book lost a bit of credibility with me. I will keep her tips in mid, but she obviously doesn't know everything if she had to fall back on the age old, "adopt and then you will get pregnant" myth. And maybe that's good that I know she is human and fallible. I don't need to take everything "the expert" said and think that's the way things are supposed to be.
Argh!! That makes me so mad! You set out to educate yourself on parenting an adoptive child and you fall on this trite and false statement on becoming pregnant. Just what you needed! But you know better than to believe that crap. What about the thousands of other infertile women who read that and internalize it. It's just like saying "relax and it will happen". Anyways, I'm stepping down from my soap box. :)
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine does research in attachment. She has told me before that Sears is a good reference to look at building a secure attachment with a child. Check out his website if you want.
http://www.askdrsears.com/
yuck. i hate that myth so SO much. stinky that you had to find it in a book!
ReplyDeleteThat would definitely lose some credibility here! Show me statistics that prove it has anything to do with adoption! Sorry to see that it had that in a book - I'd want to smack the writer.
ReplyDeleteI think I would never look at that book again, for the credibility reason like you said... That one comment would spoil it completely for me! Congratulations on the little boy you are adopting!
ReplyDeleteICLW # 105
That is so frustrating that the book had such a poor section on adoption and foster care. I guess it goes to show how many misconceptions there are out there. :(
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