We met up again with the birth parents this weekend. We went out to dinner and had a nice time chatting and getting to know one another a bit more. They are really great people. I felt good about how everything was going. I felt at peace, excited, and joyful.
I felt those same feelings this morning on my run.
Then I started to get nervous. Nervous that things wouldn't work out. Nervous that our meeting hadn't gone as well as I thought. I talked with my hubby a bit and that helped. He reminded me, "It's out of our hands." At this point there is nothing we can do. If things don't work out, then they don't work out. While I realize that, that is one of the reasons it is scary and I feel nervous. I want to be in control. I want to make sure everything works out. Aaaaah. Deep breath.
I tried to keep myself busy by cleaning and going to the grocery store. My sister called and it was nice to be able to talk to her a bit. Then my friend told me she was home and I could come pick up a crib and her rocking chair. So I went and picked that up. And now I am feeling a bit better. I am about to head out to go to my sister in law's house to pick up some more baby stuff--car seat, pack n play, etc.
I have been so amazed at the outpouring of love and baby stuff from people when we tell them we are adopting. I am so grateful to everyone for their help. Our baby is going to be so loved and we will be able to tell him about everyone who was so excited about his arrival and how they helped us stuff his room full of the things we needed to take care of him.
I can do this. It is just a few more weeks until I will be holding my little bundle of joy.