Facebook : Baby Loss Month post

I woke up at 3 am to feed my little guy and couldn't go back to sleep.  Around 5:30 I got tired of lying in bed and started putzing around the house. I messed around on the computer, fed the little guy (I think from here on out I will refer to him as LG), read, and then reflected on an idea that had been vaguely mulling around in my head.  And the following is the result.  I decided to write a little something on FB about infertility and baby loss.  I lumped infertility into it because, as infertiles, even though we have not physically lost a baby, we deal with the unrealistic, but yes, lost dream of having children at the drop of a hat.  I came out on FB, because, frankly, now it was easy.  It is now clearly evident, I think, that we had infertility issues and were blessed with a baby through the miracle of adoption.  We naturally keep the pain and diagnosis of infertility hidden, especially on FB, for various reasons which I won't go into at this time, but now, that my infertility is no longer hidden, I felt strongly about writing something about it, especially on FB.

So here is what I wrote and posted:

I don’t usually post things like this here, but I just wanted to, so I am.  It has been an exciting, crazy, busy, fun month, as many of you know.   But, as an infertile I would feel remised if I did not post something here on FB about October being Baby Loss Awareness month.  It is a month to remember all types of pregnancy loss and infant death including miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, etc.  So while you would have to live in a cave without any other human contact to not know that it was Breast Cancer Awareness month, (not knocking Breast Cancer Month), but you may not have known that is also Baby Loss Awareness Month.  And I am sure it is many other things month: like nephew appreciation month, Hispanic heritage month, etc.  I will let someone else speak about those causes.  The reason I am putting this on FB is because FB can be a cruel reminder to infertile people or those coping with infant loss of just how much we are missing out on.  Many infertile people comes to hate FB, because as I remember one fellow infertile said something to the effect of, “FB is like opening a Christmas card about someone else’s amazing life, only you have to do it 365 times a year”.  Not to make any of you feel bad, that’s just the reality of it.  So, for those who are infertile, I know your pain and I hope it will be relieved soon. 

So, I just wanted to tell all of those that have experienced an infant loss that I am heartbroken for you and your loss and I hope you can find peace and comfort in some way and in some time.  For those who have not experienced the pain of infertility or infant loss and sometimes wonder what you could say or do; well since I don’t have space to write a novel here, I would merely say, be sensitive, be compassionate, be understanding, and reach out and let them know you care.  

That’s all.  Thanks for reading.