October

Of all the months of the year, for me, this one seems to always revolve around infertility and children.   I spent many an October crossing my fingers and holding onto hope only to find myself in tears wondering when the hole and ache in my heart would heal.  So, the fact that my hubby and I were hoping to adopt our child in October filled me with some fear and trepidation.

October is a month filled with family fun with the onset of fall and Halloween.  I have always loved seeing kids trick or treating and filled with excitement as they run around in their costumes.  I have fond memories myself of trick or treating and enjoying the smell of candles burning in jack-o-lanterns.

But with every IVF treatment ending in disaster in October, I came to hate and dread this lovely month.  Holidays are so much more fun when kids are involved.  They create the magic and excitement that comes with the holidays.

With a child in our home, October has become a happy and exciting time of year again.  We visited the pumpkin patch as a family and I reveled in the peace and happiness I felt to have a child to call my own.

For many of you, you are still waiting for the laughter of a child or even more children to come to your home.  And my heart aches for you and I hope it happens soon.

The irony was not lost on my husband and me when on our stressful adoption placement day as we were waiting for time to slowly tick by until papers would be signed that Tom Petty's song, "The waiting is the hardest part" came on.  We nervously laughed, then sighed, moaned, and groaned.  My husband said, "no kidding".  For all of those still waiting, I am thinking of you and I know how hard it is.