Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Adoption is about love

I will probably never by #2 on the stirrup queen's ICLW list again, and I have been trying to figure out what to say.  Do I say something witty or something profound?  Do I talk about infertility, adoption, or upcoming baby stuff?

I suppose I will write from my heart and write about adoption and more specifically about birth or expectant parents.

I have nothing but the utmost respect and admiration of the birth parents of our "soon to be" child.  I think they are amazing and selfless people.

My husband and I are humbled to have been chosen by them to parent their child.

We look forward to telling our son about them and how much they love him.

They are doing something for us that we cannot do for ourselves.  They are bringing a beautiful child into our home.  Adoption truly is a miracle.  I know they will experience heart ache and pain in this process, I only hope my prayers and love for them can ease some of that for them.

I have been thinking a lot about what gift I can give them during placement, and while I have some ideas, everything just seems so small and insignificant in comparison to what they are doing for us.  So, while I will give them a small tangible gift they can hold, I think the best thing I can give them is continued contact (as we have already agreed to do) with us.  I can also give them the peace of mind through the months and years that will follow that their child is loved by us.  I will also always hold them in high esteem and tell our son how much they love him as well.

Adoption truly is about love.  I am so grateful to have my life touched by the miracle of adoption.  Many years ago when we started down this infertile path, my mind turned to think about the fact and hope that we would someday be able to experience this great miracle of adoption in our lives.  I am filled with love for my future son, love for his birth parents, and love for all those that have helped me and continue to help me in this journey.

25 comments:

  1. I think you're right about continued contact being the best gift you can give the birth parents. I am a birth mother, and I was really touched when I received flowers on the first Mother's Day after the placement, and a heartfelt card the first Christmas. They talked about how every Christmas for the past 6 years they wondered if the next Christmas they would no longer be without a child.

    I don't get gifts like that anymore (it's been almost 10 years) but that is because we are in touch frequently. But I will never forget that first Mother's Day and Christmas, because those messages they gave me really helped.

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  2. beautiful :) almost exactly what i'm thinking...

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  3. How exciting!! I know you can't wait to finally bring your baby home. Congratulations!

    ICLW #59

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  4. Congratulations on your upcoming adoption! It is so exciting. And I think it is fantastic that you are taking them so much into consideration. It's never an easy process on either side. Congratulations, again!

    ICLW #90 (I think!)

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  5. I love the idea of the continued relationship as a gift - and I was so touched by the previous comment. Even though this is my first time on your blog, I can tell you will be a wonderful mom to your little boy :)

    ICLW

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  6. So excited for you! I am also a mom thru adoption. My son will be 4 in a couple of weeks. We call his BM his "Special Mom". Our story is a little different from the typical open adoption, but still it is an amazing miracle!
    ICLW#41

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  7. You're such a wonderful person & I'm so thankful to call you a friend! The birth family will continually be blessed by your gift, you are so thoughtful! Much love my friend:)

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  8. This is such a beautiful post. I just love to walk with you on this journey and get to know you through your joys and your struggles. You are truly, truly a beautiful person.

    I think open adoption is a great gift to everyone involved: to the receiving parents, the biological parents and the child. There is very good evidence to show that open adoption is much, much better for the child, especially when he or she reaches adolescence. It isn't always possible to have an open adoption, but when it is, I think it's such a great option.

    I know that you see the generosity in the birth parents' hearts, and I hope you also see it in your heart. It takes great generosity to want to maintain contact with the birth parents once the child is in your arms. And I know you will do that.

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  9. I really liked you post. Congratulations on your upcoming adoption

    ~Stopping by for ICLW #69

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  10. Congratulations on your upcoming entering into parenthood! I hope it's all you hope it to be!


    iclw
    rach @ the miss ruby
    #19
    http://themissruby.blogspot.com/

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  11. Ahh and my heart is bursting just reading this. All the love makes my heart overflow too. Thank you. It's things like this that make the world a more caring loving place that I know it can be.

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  12. What a beautiful post. Your relationship with your son's birth parents surely is an invaluable gift. I am touched just having stopped by! Happy ICLW and my best wishes!

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  13. So excited for you! I'm sure continued updates will be priceless for his birth mother.

    Best wishes.

    ICLW

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  14. Wow - you were truly meant to be this boy's forever family. The love you have for him and the gratitude you have for his birth parents is so very, very beautiful. Thank you for letting me peek into your world.

    ICLW #7

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  15. Congrats on your upcoming journey into parenthood!

    Happy ICLW. ~#42~

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  16. Making the rounds for ICLW and so many people are struggling so much right now, which makes it even more wonderful to see a blog that is full of joy!

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  17. Congratulations on your match!

    ICLW

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  18. What a nice, heartfelt message. Adoption is amazing! I love how it a miraculous link between two families! I am sure that your son's birthmother will appreciate your thoughtfulness for years to come. You are lucky to have each other.
    ICLW#53

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  19. Gratitude is a wonderful place to be.

    Lisa
    ICLW #86

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  20. Your honesty and sincerity jumps through the page. Congrats! Come and join me on my other blog about parenting after infertility when you're ready -- http://www.fluckymom.blogspot.com

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  21. Wow, very sweet. Oh and LOVE the wipe out video hee hee! ICLW #92

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  22. What a beautifully written and obviously heart felt post. I am stopping by from ICLW and looking forward to following along now on your journey to your son!

    http://mom2reagan.blogspot.com/

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  23. I am so happy for you! And what a beautiful song above! It is such a wonderful gift to be so blessed when you have been through so much. When the adoption is complete, would you be willing to share your success story with us over at my blog? Happy ICLW! (#61 & 62)

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  24. I agree with you that the best gift would be continual contact and the knowledge that their son is loved (has already been and will always be). :-D

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  25. Adoption truly is a beautiful thing! I cherish the loving and open relationship we have with our son's birthfamily, and I think it's so wonderful that your son will have the love of multiple families in his life, too!

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