Adios Amigos

In case anyone even checks in here anymore, I thought I would take a moment to formally bid you all farewell.  I just don't really have anything to add to this blog.  Life is good.  I don't struggle with the pain of infertility.   Adoption is how I build my family.  I continue to strive to find joy and happiness in each new day.  And with a little one in the home, that happens multiple times a day.  El Guapo is so wonderful.  I love him so much.  He is so fun, and so happy.  Each day is a new adventure for him.  He fills my heart and my life with joy.

Hopefully a little señorita or other muchacho will join our family and the love and joy will only multiply.  Life is good.  I think of many of you often and hope life is treating you well and hope those of you who are still yearning to start or add to your families will be able to do so soon.  I thank all of you for helping me through a difficult time in my life and hope I was able to lend support and help to some of you as well.  I check your blogs as time permits, and am always hopeful to hear good news on your end.

Chao

I can hardly wait!

Big NEWS my friends,

Our adoption profile is live.  Granted, it just barely happened, so hardly anyone knows, but I know, and I just let a few people know and now that I have done that I can hardly contain my excitement.  I just want to tell everyone that soon we will have another little bundle of joy.

Aaaaaaaah!  I can hardly wait.  Deep breath.  I have no idea how long or how soon till we adopt again, but now that our profile is up, it is like it could happen any day.  I won't think about the fact that it might not happen for awhile, or that sometimes these things don't work out.  Right now I will find joy in this feeling of excitement and anticipation of the arrival of another little baby to our home and to my arms.

I just took that moment.  It was wonderful.  This definitely calls for a celebration!

p.s.  this is the link to our profile.  Feel free to spread the word that we are hoping to adopt again.

Also, you will see that in the profile and in my new family blog, I refer to El Guapo by name.  I would ask that you still refer to him here as El Guapo, as the profile and blog will be closed out after the adoption is finalized, and I want to keep his cyber footprint as small as possible :D

Another phone call

Last Thursday, I was at work and for awhile now I have been stressing about what to do if my adoption phone rang at work.  I work 12 hr shifts at a hospital and we aren’t supposed to have our cell phones out.   We all carry our phones in our pockets or have them available in case someone needs us or we need to use them on break.  Well, that is fine and all, but I was getting nervous that I would miss when the adoption phone rang and then, because obviously I would pick it up when it rang, who cares if I got in trouble.  But I figured it would be better just to tell my mgr so she would be ok with it if it did.  So, anyhow, my manager was fine with that.  So I put my normal cellphone in my locker and replaced it with the adoption phone.  (They are both Blackberry smartphones, so they are too big and bulky for me to be carrying both of them around along with all the other stuff I jam in my pockets so I can work during the day.)   With the adoption phone in my pocket I went on my merry way.  Well, not even 2 hrs later it rang.  And it was loud.  I was fumbling in my pocket, trying to grab it in time.  I answered and said, “Hello.”  There was no response.  I said “Hello” again.  Then, an automated telemarketing thing came on the phone.  I immediately hung up.  I was so mad.  I thought, “How did they get my number?”  It was crazy.  I just started laughing.  I also thought, “Are you kidding me?”  Some stupid telemarketers have my number, now I will have to run and answer this phone a million times only to have it be a telemarketer.  I wasn’t going to stand for that.  I immediately put the phone number on the “do not call” list, and so hopefully that should do the trick.   

Well, I went about my day, and no other phone calls came in on that line.  At the end of the day I went to my locker to grab my stuff to go home.  I looked at my normal cellphone and saw that I had received a call from our adoption social worker.  I thought: “Dang it, how did I miss this call?”  The voice mail he left was short, sweet, and boring.  Which didn’t help at all.  The office was closed, so I couldn’t call him back.  I just could not believe it.  I had carried the wrong phone all day.  

I got home, and decided to see if our social worker had left me an email that might give me a little more information about why he had called.   He did.  Want to know what it said?

Maybe I’ll tell you tomorrow. 

Just kidding!

Drum roll please...

He said our profile has been chosen! 

and

We will be adopting a baby boy in October!

Can you believe it?  It is so awesome.  We are so excited.  

I have been overcome with such happiness and joy.    

Now the disclaimer my husband requested I write, even though I told him you all know this.  He wants you to know it's not for sure.  The birthparents can change their mind at any time until papers are officially signed.  

I know the bottom can drop out at any moment in this process, but I am not going to let that spoil my excitement.  If it drops it drops.  And then I'll be sad.  My husband is also super happy too, I am not try to say he isn't.  This is can be scary and emotional process.   But I am going to throw caution to the wind and be happy and celebrate this exciting news.  

We haven't met the birthparents yet, but hopefully we will soon.  I am a little nervous about that.  I just went and got my hair cut and dyed so when we do I will look presentable.  

My mind has been racing a mile a minute since we heard the news.  There is so much I want to remember about these first few days of complete joy.  It has been so fun to call and tell people from close friends and family to random people like my hairdresser about our news.  And I am so glad I could share this exciting news with all of you as well.   

For those of you that are not in a happy place in this adoption/loss/infertility world, my heart goes out to you.  I know how difficult it can be to hear someone else's glowing report of how wonderful life is for them as they get ready to welcome a baby into their home.  Please know that I am aware of you and hope that you can find peace and that your hopes of bringing children into your home will be realized soon.  

Big News

I got to thinking when i went to bed, that I have been so nervous trying to figure out how to best tell people about our plans to adopt.  I thought about the letter I wrote to my family and it came to me that it lacked a bit of the excitement and enthusiasm that we feel about our decision to adopt.  Then I thought I wanted to feel like a fertile person must when they announce their big new "our family is growing" news.

So, without further ado...this is the announcement I thought of while lying in bed.  It brought a smile to my face, warmth to my heart, and peace and excitement to my soul.

WE ARE SO EXCITED THAT  WE WILL SOON HAVE A CHILD JOIN OUR FAMILY THROUGH THE MIRACLE OF ADOPTION!!!


check out our profile here: 
http://itsaboutlove.org/ial/profiles/24465858/ourMessage.jsf.

that felt good :)

Pregnancy Announcements

There are many ways that a pregnancy can be announced.  And maybe the problem is that the emphasis has been on the word ANNOUNCEMENT.

Can you picture the megaphone shouting to anyone and everyone that another pregnant person has arrived?  And I don't think newly pregnant people are to be faulted for being excited about their pregnancy, but when you're infertile, everyone besides you is running around getting pregnant.  And these announcements can be so difficult to receive.

I used to imagine how I would ANNOUNCE my pregnancy, but now that I am not anticipating a pregnancy to occur in this century, sometimes one person's happiness over a pregnancy announcement can bring pain and sadness to my heart.  You want to be happy for the person, but sometimes it is so hard.

This weekend I really appreciated how one of my dear friends told me about her pregnancy.  We were just chatting and catching up b/c we hadn't talked in awhile.  And she moved across town, so I hadn't seen her in awhile and we were plotting how we would meet up again.  And then, I don't remember exactly how she worded her "pregnancy announcement", but I remember feeling of her compassion and love for me and my situation.  She told me she realized this was a difficult topic for me and she was unsure of how to tell me, but she was pregnant again.

Her acknowledgment of how painful it could be for me to hear a pregnancy announcement was so kind.  And that acknowledgment made it so I could internally say "yes", but this is not about me, and I want to be happy for you and not sad for me.  I felt nothing but love and joy for her.  I am excited for her and was happy that I could be heartfelt and genuine in my congratulations for her.