Do Your Best and Forget the Rest

Over the last 2+ months, my husband and I have been doing the P90X exercise DVDs.  It has been hard, challenging, good, sweaty, and fun.  I have done more push ups and pull ups than I ever thought was possible.  And I also actually have a decent bicep and a 2 pack of abs.  (Still working on the 6 pack).   The trainer on the DVDs, Tony Horton, is actually pretty entertaining.  The workouts go fairly quickly, and I feel so great afterwards.  It has also helped me get a good start to the day.  It is also helpful to be doing them with my husband, because we help each other wake up and maintain our motivation.  

Anyhow, one of my favorite lines that Tony always says is, "Do your best, and forget the rest."  I have liked this line, because when a hard day rolls around, I think of this line and it helps.  All I can do is my best.  I can control that much of a situation.  And then I just need to forget and not worry about the rest.  

Maybe someday soon, if I am courageous enough, I will post a picture of my muscles.  Doubtful, but you never know.  My husband and I like watching the videos people make of their transformation from this program.  Some of them are pretty amazing.  It sure is nice to fit into clothes I hadn't worn in years, and to now have the problem of needing to purchase some belts so my clothes will stay on.  

 

Refocusing

I have been thinking about the title of my blog and what my purpose in blogging was:  to find joy and to record it.  I feel I have wandered a bit from this purpose and lately I have been struggling find joy in this journey.  So I am going to try harder to find joy in my day to day life, and will make a more concerted effort to record it and therefore recognize and feel joy in my life.

Today at church I felt that God was aware of me.  This brought me some hope and peace.

I heard some good quotes from the talk: Broken Things to Mend by Elder Holland:

"To all such I offer the surest and sweetest remedy that I know. It is found in the clarion call the Savior of the world Himself gave. He said it in the beginning of His ministry, and He said it in the end. He said it to believers, and He said it to those who were not so sure. He said to everyone, whatever their personal problems might be:

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

"Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls."2  . . . He is saying to us, "Trust me, learn of me, do what I do. Then, when you walk where I am going," He says, "we can talk about where you are going, and the problems you face and the troubles you have. If you will follow me, I will lead you out of darkness," He promises. "I will give you answers to your prayers. I will give you rest to your souls." . . . the Savior’s Atonement lifts from us not only the burden of our sins but also the burden of our disappointments and sorrows, our heartaches and our despair.14 From the beginning, trust in such help was to give us both a reason and a way to improve, an incentive to lay down our burdens and take up our salvation. There can and will be plenty of difficulties in life. Nevertheless, the soul that comes unto Christ, who knows His voice and strives to do as He did, finds a strength, as the hymn says, "beyond [his] own."15 The Savior reminds us that He has "graven [us] upon the palms of [His] hands."16 Considering the incomprehensible cost of the Crucifixion and Atonement, I promise you He is not going to turn His back on us now. When He says to the poor in spirit, "Come unto me," He means He knows the way out and He knows the way up. He knows it because He has walked it. He knows the way because He is the way.”

That's all for now.

Are we not all mothers? Celebrating my Day

On this Mother's Day I wanted to share some quotes from a talk that Sheri Dew, (a lady from my church) gave (Ensign November 2001, Are we not all mothers?)

She talks about Eve and the fact that all of us are mothers.  I like this scripture I read in Genesis 3:20 today: "And Adam called his wife’s name Eve; because she was the the mother of all living."

These were some of my favorite parts, but here is the link to the whole talk.

"While we tend to equate motherhood solely with maternity, in the Lord’s language, the word mother has layers of meaning. Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve “the mother of all living”—and they did so before she ever bore a child. 


Like Eve, our motherhood began before we were born...righteous women were endowed premortally with the privilege of motherhood. Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us....


For reasons known to the Lord, some women are required to wait to have children. This delay is not easy for any righteous woman. But the Lord’s timetable for each of us does not negate our nature. Some of us, then, must simply find other ways to mother. And all around us are those who need to be loved and led. 


Eve set the pattern. In addition to bearing children, she mothered all of mankind when she made the most courageous decision any woman has ever made and with Adam opened the way for us to progress. She set an example of womanhood for men to respect and women to follow, modeling the characteristics with which we as women have been endowed: heroic faith, a keen sensitivity to the Spirit, an abhorrence of evil, and complete selflessness. Like the Savior, “who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross,” Eve, for the joy of helping initiate the human family, endured the Fall. She loved us enough to help lead us. 


As daughters of our Heavenly Father, and as daughters of Eve, we are all mothers and we have always been mothers."


So while I know this, I am still a bit apprehensive about going to church today.  Last night my hubby told me they would be passing out flower to the mothers, and my heart sank.  This has been a tradition in the past, but they seemed to be getting away from it, but I guess they changed their mind.  I got angry and frustrated.  I hate the awkwardness that comes when people get to me and are not sure if they should give me a flower or not.  And I really don't like it when people that know I don't have kids wish me a Happy Mother's Day.  (Because even though I just wrote about how we are all mothers, it can still be hard to remember that when you are surrounded by people wishing you a Happy Mother's day)  I will try to just say thank you and move on, but I would really rather they just say, "Hi, How are you, good to see you.  Hope you have a good day."  Or if they give me a flower say, "thinking of you today"  That would be nice,  just don't say Happy Mother's Day to me.  But I know it will happen, so today when I am told that I will say "thank you" and know that they are really telling me "Happy J Day".  Also I will try to remember a quote attributed to Brigham Young, "he who takes offense when no offense is intended is a fool , and he who takes offense when offense is intended is usually a fool".  


This morning when we woke up my sweet husband told me, "Happy J Day"  "Today we celebrate you.  This is your special day."  We made belgian waffles topped with strawberries and powdered sugar and had a nice morning.  He gave me a sweet card and helped me feel special and loved.  


I also wanted to thank the blogger at "my infertility woes" for her post in celebration of us today.  It was beautiful and reminded me that today is a day to celebrate each of us and the efforts we have made to bring about the desires of our hearts.  


Thinking of all of you today.  You are all so wonderful.  

Under the Weather

I enjoyed Mel the Stirrup Queen's post on nose blowing today.  You will have to read it.  I have been blowing my nose and coughing up crud all week, that her analogy hit home.  It is okay for us to constantly regurgitate the same thoughts and feelings because like crud in our lungs we have to get it out somehow.  And for me, I can get it out here.  And you fine folks read it and write encouraging words to let me know that someday I'll feel better and that it's okay and normal to feel the way I do.  How often do we have the sniffles or feel under the weather?  Quite often.

Not to get political or anything (I'm an independent and not a fan of Nancy Pelosi), but prior to the healthcare reform vote Nancy Pelosi said that "being a woman would no longer be a preexisting condition".  Frankly I never knew it was, and I resent that she said it was.  I still don't really understand what she meant by that.  I thought women usually live longer than men.  And we know that men are total babies when they are sick.

A quote that my hubby is famous in his family for quoting when they get together is:  "Attitudes are contagious.  Is yours worth catching?"  And then the caveat, "Be careful what you catch". His family always groans when he shares this, but it's true.  So, while I don't want anyone to catch the cold I currently have, I do hope that while I'm running around chasing my dream of having a child I can have an attitude that's worth catching.  And on the days I don't, I can turn to so many of you to help nurse me back to full strength.

Patience and Faith

At church today I listened to a very good talk.  The lady spoke about how we can rely on God for help with our burdens.  I especially liked the quotes she shared by Elder Maxwell about how patience and help have a unique relationship.

Here was one that I liked, "the Lord simultaneously tries the patience of his people even as he tries their faith (see Mosiah 23:21). One is not only to endure—but to endure well and gracefully those things which the Lord “seeth fit to inflict upon [us]” (Mosiah 3:19), just as did a group of ancient American Saints who were beating unusual burdens but who submitted “cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord” (Mosiah 24:15)."

This is a link to the whole talk: LDS.org - Ensign Article - Patience

This evening I was still reflecting on that quote and wanted to read the whole talk.  The whole talk was so great.  Elder Maxwell was a master of the English language.  I just love reading his talks.  This was another quote I liked:
"Sometimes that which we are doing is correct enough but simply needs to be persisted in—patiently—not for a minute or a moment but sometimes for years. Paul speaks of the marathon of life and how we must “run with patience the race that is set before us” (Heb. 12:1). Paul did not select the hundred-yard dash for his analogy!"


This struck home.  As much as I wish this infertile race was a 100 yard dash.  It sure isn't.  I don't know how long I will have to run this infertile race, but for as long as it lasts, I  need to try to run it more patiently.  As I thought about how much I wished this race could be over I just how far sperm needed to travel to reach the egg.  It is clearly not 100 yards, so you would think they could reach their destination easily.  

According to wiki answers:

"The sperm have to travel about 10 cms only. But this is a difficult task for it to ovecome all the hurdles. Half of the sperm would be dead and remaining would be not able to travel properly.  The remaining sperm have to overcome the unfaconditions of the vagina. Even under the most favorable conditions, the sperm have a daunting distance to travel. Although only about 4 inches (10 cm) lie between the sperm and egg, the extreme itti-bittiness of the sperm make this distance a marathon. The sperm's whiplike tail, 10 times the length of its head, can propel it at about 3mm per hour."  

If my math is correct, that means it would take about 33 hrs for the sperm to reach the egg.  I guess they do have a long, tough road to travel as well.  I will try not judge them so harshly anymore. 

Here are some other quotes by Elder Maxwell that I liked: 


"There is also a dimension of patience which links it to a special reverence for life. Patience is a willingness, in a sense, to watch the unfolding purposes of God with a sense of wonder and awe—rather than pacing up and down within the cell of our circumstance.


Too much anxious opening of the oven door and the cake falls instead of rising! So it is with us. If we are always selfishly taking our temperature to see if we are happy, we won’t be.

When we are impatient, we are neither reverential nor reflective because we are too self-centered. Whereas faith and patience are companions, so are selfishness and impatience."

That is what I am doing right now--constantly, "opening the oven door" hoping to see a "little bun in the oven", and when I don't see one I am reminding myself that I am not happy about my current infertile situation.  No amount of thinking, "it's not fair", or being upset at God has helped me feel any better.  


I think it is a tricky balance.  Because you have to think about your current situation to figure out how to fix it, but you need to make sure it doesn't become all consuming or too depressing that you can't think straight.  

I have still been struggling with prayer, but this talk and a few others I have been listening to on my iPod lately have been helping.  This talk has helped to see the connection between patience and faith, and realize that I am in short supply of both.  

"Patience is tied very closely to faith in our Heavenly Father. Actually, when we are unduly impatient, we are suggesting that we know what is best—better than does God. Or, at least, we are asserting that our timetable is better than his. Either way we are questioning the reality of God’s omniscience, as if, as some seem to believe, God were on some sort of postdoctoral fellowship." Elder Maxwell

This was the "wake up call" I needed.  Who am I to think that I know more than God?  I realize how much more I need to learn and grow.  I hope to have more patience in this trial.  

I am grateful I was able to go to church today and receive this guidance and direction that I desperately needed.  Now to put it into practice--that's always the tricky part.