Happiness and Hope

I received an award from Amel at : http://serenity-in-chaos.blogspot.com/  Thank you Amel.  She is a blogger from Finland.  It is so great how our IF community can reach out all over the world.

The rules are easy.  You put that picture up on your blog and you post about one thing you're happy about right now and one thing that you are hoping for in the future. And then you pass the award along.

Happy about right now:
I have a great husband, nice home, good friends and family, and life is good.  The hope I have also makes me happy.


I hope:
To hold my son in a few weeks.  I hope to hear his laughter fill our home.  I can't wait to see his little feet running all around the house.  I look forward to seeing what an amazing father my husband will be.  


I am sending this award on to Rebecca at http://roadlesstraveledblog.blogspot.com/.  She is a very inspiring friend and person.  Her strength and kindness regularly brings me happiness and hope.  

Glow Worm

Every time I have told someone about our upcoming adoption.  I just glow with happiness and joy.  It is such an amazing feeling.  I have told all of my coworkers and it is just wonderful to feel of their happiness and excitement for me.

When I told "L".  She started hyperventilating.  And said, "quick, give me a hug right now".  It was so cute.  She is so wonderful.

"N" said, "What are we having?  And we have a lot to do...You're glowing."  She is so cute.

Telling "J" brought tears to my eyes.  She said, "You deserve it.  He is a lucky guy."  To which I replied, "I am the lucky one".  She then said,  "I know you have been wanting this for a long time.  And I am really happy for you.  And you know, I don't say things I don't mean."  She then proceeded to tear up, so, what could I do, but do the same?

Each day that passes brings me a little closer to our little guy.  I can't wait!

My Quiet House

I am back in my quiet house after spending 4 days and nights with 200+ girls at a church camp.  The fact that I can only hear the clock ticking and my fingers clicking on the keyboard right now is music to my ears.  No crazy Pink Pajama or Shark or Jacob Jingle Heimer Smith Songs being blasted in my ears.  The silence is a beautiful sound.

Don't get me wrong, I had a great time, but it is nice to be home.

Sure, I'd love to have a home filled with the laughter of children, but today I will enjoy my quiet home.  As I drove home from camp I was reminded that this weekend is Father's Day and that my husband has not yet fulfilled his desire to be a father.  Someday he will get "World's Best Dad" mugs and cards.  I hope that someday comes soon.  But today and this weekend and I try to help him feel of my love and appreciation for him and try to help him have a good weekend.

The Sun'll Come out Tomorrow...

I felt like little orphan Annie when I woke up.
It is amazing what a good night's sleep can do to your outlook on life.
I was feeling better about things, and wasn't going to let last night's sadness affect today.

Ramblings: Work, Happiness, FYI tip for Infertiles

Whenever I have a really sucky day at work I tend to wish for what I don't have.  And guess what that would be?  A fertile life full of kids.  And I wish that I could fulfill my true dream in life to be a stereotypical Mormon housewife.  I should be driving a BMW (big Mormon wagon) and wiping the faces of my snotty nosed kids.  Ok, maybe it wasn't my dream to be stereotypical.  And I definitely had not planned on throwing 6 kids in the back of my van, but I did dream of being a hardworking, fun loving housewife and mom.  And as a Mormon, (not that this is exclusive to Mormons), but I grew up knowing that I wanted kids, and the importance and love of families was and still is emphasized.  So, sometimes it is hard to accept my lot in life and take the lumps and the bumps of infertility.  So no Mormon housewife here.  I got to put my nose to the grindstone today for 14 hrs straight with a very short 30 minute lunch.  Lucky me.

I left work feeling like I could spit nails I was so mad about the terrible day I had.  But it's over now and I enjoyed some pizza and rootbeer for dinner.  That is one of my favorite food combinations.  As I ate I watched more Olympics and listened to more stupid commentators.  I wonder if they ever replay their remarks.  I would recommend it.  At any rate they make for good laughs and certainly plenty of groans.

Ok, now on to a FYI tip for infertiles.  Eventually many of you will graduate to becoming pregnant and then having those beautiful babies.  Unfortunately I have found that many infertiles are not aware that they may have difficulty producing a good milk supply when breastfeeding.  This is due to the fact that you needed hormonal assistance to get pregnant and producing milk relies on hormones as well.  And sometimes our bodies just don't cooperate.  So, just do your homework and be open to the fact that you might not be able to produce enough milk to exclusively breastfeed because many people's hope ands expectations of doing this unfortunately can not be realized.

That's all for now.  I gotta watch the snowboarding half pipe competition.  Or as one commentator said, watch Shaun White's "red locks fly"  Ha Ha Ha.

Go for the Gold

Friday Night Double Date

I love going on double dates with my husband. He is so funny. I can’t even describe how ridiculous he is sometimes. And then the added bonus that you get to hang out with some friends and laugh all night. He and the other husband planned the date, which was nice because I could just go and enjoy it. They started off by telling us how it was a “Wolf Moon” that night (with some serious cloud cover unfortunately). And then all night they kept rattling off the most random facts about how this wolf moon was so different and amazing. How is was 31, 070 miles closer to the earth and it was 14% wider and who knows how much brighter. It was hilarious. I may need to fact check the info. And of course the Mexican restaurant we went to had a wolf statue, so that just added to our laughter.

A good book

is like a good friend to me. I love, but also hate, when I get into a book. I have the best day just reading and reading, but then because I have not conquered the ability to step away from a book once I get into it I feel bad b/c nothing else around the house got taken care of. No housework, no dinner made, nothing. But who cares, because I got to read a good book, right? Yep, that's right.

Sleep is my friend

I woke up today at 10 am. It was glorious. Sure, I felt like I had missed out on half the day, but my body felt so happy. After work yesterday I was so tired. I was short on patience as my husband was trying to do our January budget at 9:30 last night. I just couldn't handle being peppered with questions about how much our property tax was, or how much we needed to pay in medical expenses, or when the car insurance was due. And yes, I got a little crabby.

Then I went to bed.

And today I feel refreshed, happy, and ready to enjoy the weekend.

Happiness is...

...when my husband comes home.

I came home early from our Christmas vacation b/c I had to work, and my husband stayed behind to spend a few more days with his family. But today he rejoined me, I drove into the garage and he was there acting crazy. He wanted me to stop the car halfway in the garage so he could put new windshield wipers on. I was so confused, but he said, you said you needed some new ones right? Yes, that's true, but I never would've thought he would be doing that right now. It was a bit random, but that is the type of person my husband is. You never know when he will feel like completing the "honeydew" list, but when he does, don't try to stop him.

Happy New Year 01/01/10

That is a fun date to write. I kept getting it mixed up all day on documents I was writing on. I had a great day, a busy day with work, but great at the same time.

I met some fun people today. As a nurse, I am always interacting with different people, and it is nice to run into some really wonderful people. One man was a total crack up. Everything was a joke to him. When I knocked on the door to go in his wife's room he said, welcome, come on into our mansion. I told him, "I like what you've done to the place" (it was just a normal hospital room), he laughed and laughed. The whole day was like that, all day I enjoyed walking into that room and really appreciated his sincere handshake at the end of their stay thanking me for the care his family had received while there.

Later, on my way home I stopped at the grocery store. I like going through the old school checkout as opposed to the self check b/c for one thing, I can just stand there, and secondly, I get to talk to the young teenagers working there. There are so genuine and fun to talk to. The bagger was wearing pink gloves and asked me if I liked them, I told him, no, not really, he laughed and said, well my manager gave them to me to wear today. We chatted back and forth, then he took one off and said he would go MJ (michael jackson) style, I told him, that would be much cooler. He laughed.

I had a great day interacting with people and felt happy to be alive.