Riding off into the Sunset

I never like to be one to be wishy washy, and usually when I make a decision I go with it.  Which is why I now need to tell you that my decision to come out of retirement was a mistake.  My posting last week was based on emotion.  Perhaps saying I was finished blogging made me miss blogging if just for a moment.  Various posts about the ALI community and the drop off of those who are pregnant or parenting also made me feel as though I wanted to add to the conversation.  

But as I analyzed the “why” I was going to blog again, the benefits and reasons to not blogging outweighed (for me) the reasons to blog.  I just don’t have the time.  I want to be present in my son’s and husband’s lives.  And when I came back to thinking about blogging, I had blog posts running through my head and I kept wanting to come check my blog and see if anyone had stopped by, etc.  To everything, there is a time and a season, and right now, I am focusing on real life efforts of homemaking, mothering, and enjoying every busy and quiet moment I am given.  Those quiet moments are few and far between, and there are so many other things I want to do with my time in those quiet moments. 

I began my blog because as stated recently, I was struggling to find joy in the daily moments of my life because I didn't want the pain and anguish of IF to derail me in my efforts to be happy.  My husband and I were moving towards the path of adoption, and I wanted and knew that my heart needed to heal.  My faith was fragile, my outlook jaded, and I was tired of feeling that way.  This blog and all of you who followed me in my journey helped me in my efforts and desires to find joy.  I am so appreciative to all of you for your kind words and helping me feel that I was not alone.  So you might think I am turning my back on the ALI community by leaving my blog behind, but I don’t think I am. 

Because I am not blogging doesn’t mean I am not thinking about you who are still in the trenches.  I can still stop by your blogs, cheer you on, add some words of comfort, or share a joke or two.  

So as this blog rides off into the sunset I thought I would share one final quote that I recently heard that I liked—

“Our impact is less likely to emanate from the pulpit—more often it will occur in one-to-one relationships, or in small groups where we can have an impact on an individual.”  (Neal A Maxwell)  All of you who took time to read and comment on my blog have impacted and helped me.  Thank you.

“The only person you need to compare yourself to is the one you were before”  (just saw this quote on FB, don’t know where it came from)  It is so easy to compare ourselves and our circumstances to others who have different strengths and weaknesses rather than just comparing ourselves to ourselves and seeing how much progress we have made. 

One of the first posts I wrote included a picture of a sunrise, so I think it is fitting that as I thought about this post, the view of a sunset came to mind.  We start this journey of being parents with the excitement and beauty of a sunrise, only to find ourselves in the middle of a miserable day that seems like it will never end.  But then all of a sudden, the most amazing sunset appears on the horizon and we realize all is well, and that the difficulties we went through were worth it because we got to experience and see this amazing site.  Eventually the day ends and we have a new day, a new opportunity to tackle different problems and experience new joyful moments.  That is how I feel at this time about this blog and the IF chapter in my life.  It was a day, a beautiful and difficult day, but one that ended with a sunset and vista more amazing than I could ever have imagined.   

It's that time of the month again.

Yes it's time for ICLW.

And yes, Aunt Flo is visiting as well.  I think the thing that bothers me most about her is how she gets me irritated and moody.  I have come to terms with the realization that her arrival means no baby, but I wish I could just not get bugged with my closest friends and family when she comes by.  I am working on that.  I think I did a better job this month.  I'll have to ask my hubby.

I haven't done a welcome ICLW letter for awhile, so I thought I would do one this time.  You can see the info on the side bar of my blog.  But here it is quick and dirty.  I spent a lot of time, money, and energy doing infertility treatments and dealing with insurance companies.  None of which turned out well.  I spent some more time, money, and energy devoted towards adoption, and have reaped the benefits of it.  I have a beautiful baby boy who is a joy to be with.  He has such a pleasant, happy personality and is always smiling and laughing except for when he's not.  :D  Which isn't too often.  :D

As you can see from my header, my blog is about finding joy now, today, not later, and not tomorrow.  In the throes of life and the ups and downs it brings, I have found that if I can keep my perspective and focus on being happy, then I can get through anything--even infertility treatments and the stress of adoption.

I still write about infertility and adoption.  But now I also write about being a mom.  I also write about ordinary things like exercise, crafts, and whatever else I feel like at the moment.  I enjoy photography, reading, being outside, and learning most anything.  I am working on my cooking skills and am hoping to find pockets of time in between naps to learn how to garden, work on some crafts, and edit and digitally scrapbook my photos.  I hope you will stick around and join me in finding joy in life.

Keep Calm and Blog On & Great Video

Thank you for your kind comments and words of encouragement.

I do enjoy writing my thoughts and feelings, and knowing that you are out there whether you comment or not, encourages me to keep writing here.

On a different note. I watched this video today, and I just love it. So I wanted to share it. Enjoy.

To blog or not to blog, that is the Question.

I have been wondering lately if I should continue this blog...

I have drastically seen my visitors and comments decline, and I just don't know if I have anything I feel like sharing because I don't know if anyone cares to read it.  When I first started blogging I didn't think I would have many people read my blog, nor did I care all that much.  My focus was to record my joyful daily moments and not let the pain of infertility envelope me.  I soon found that I belonged to a group that welcomed me in with open arms.  Now, I am not so sure if I still belong to this group.  I am still infertile.  I would still like to have other children join my family and I am pretty sure whether that is through infertility treatments or adoption, that it won't necessarily be a walk in the park.  I think we would all agree that we would much prefer to have a baby over a blog.  And while I thought I would do both, --have a blog and enjoy my baby when he came, now I am not so sure.

I don't really feel all that motivated to blog.  I can write in my journal about all the memorable experiences I am having with my boy.  Or I can write them here and feel that no one cares that I shared it.  And maybe that is partly my fault.  My little one has kept me pretty busy and I don't visit too many blogs anymore.  And I don't comment on the ALI blogs as much anymore because I don't want the person whose blog I commented on to then come over to my blog and end up feeling sad that she doesn't have a baby to hug and hold.

So, if you would like to continue reading my blog and having me add to it please let me know.  Also, I would like to know if there are any things in particular you would like to hear about?

A whole lot of joy

I have reflected again and again about what to write today.  For those who may be visiting the first time for ICLW, welcome to a happy spot in blogland.  My hubby and I just adopted our first child, and he really is a dream come true.  He is so sweet and so cute.

And if that wasn't enough, he even sleeps during the night--only waking up to eat.  I have quickly found that is the number one question I am asked.  Are you sleeping?  Is he sleeping?  And I can see why, because even though he only wakes up to eat and then goes back to bed, I have never felt so sleep deprived in my life.  I can't imagine how it would be if I was recovering from a delivery, breast feeding, and he wasn't sleeping.  I have a whole new appreciation for the obsession that moms have about talking about their kids sleep patterns.

But enough about that.  I have much more to write about than sleep.  As you all know, the title of my blog is: Find Joy Now.  And the joy that our little guy has brought into my life is unbelievable.  And as the blurb on the side of my blog says, I plan on writing about the joyful things in my life.  I am sure we will pursue adoption again in the future.  And who knows, if I ever overcome my fear of stirrups, maybe I would face the hormonal and emotional nightmare of infertility treatments.  And I guess there is always the chance that now that I am so relaxed and have adopted, I should anticipate announcing my upcoming pregnancy any day now.  j/k.

I like how my hubby said it, "who knew 20 inches could change your life so much".  So, anyhow, I guess what I am saying, is that this is my new life.  And I love it.  And I plan on blogging about it and the other things going on in my life.  I hope many of you will stay and enjoy the journey with me.